Big Brain Answers

Question from D. S. Seattle, WA
Dear Big Brain: Why am I here?
Answer: The Big Brain is glad you asked, actually, that depends on where you really are, unless of course, you don't mean it in the literal sense. The Big Brain however believes he knows what you mean. You mean what is my purpose. Is this all there is, this seemingly meaningless existence can't be it. This useless day after day after day of wasted time, wasted energy, and ultimately, a wasted life. Is that what you mean? Well, the Big Brain has some good news. There is a reason you're here and that reason is to fulfill your destiny. Well then, what is my destiny you say. It can be summed up in two simple phrases. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength and love thy neighbour as thyself. You do have to begin however, and that step has to be taken by you. I sincerely hope that you do. If you don't know where to start look here.

Big Brain Answers

Question from T. M. Austin, TX
Dear Big Brain: Where does milk come from?
Answer: The BIG BRAIN often wonders why people ask such obvious questions. Consequently, the BIG BRAIN shall refrain from sarcasm and simply answer the question. Milk comes from the store. Thanks and never write The BIG BRAIN again.

Big Brain Answers

Question from R. L. Boston, MA
Dear Big Brain: I just saw an advertisement for Raincoats. Why would rain need a coat?
Answer: The BIG BRAIN is sometimes amazed at these questions. Rain would need a coat for the same reason we would need a coat. To keep from getting wet.  Is it me...tell me it's me. Thanks for your support.

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Question from B. N. Los Angeles, CA
Dear Big Brain: Why is it that a lemon is yellow but an orange is orange?
Answer: I'm glad you asked. The BIG BRAIN believes there are some mysteries in the universe that are best left unanswered and this is one of them. Thanks for your support.

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Question from J.H. Chicago IL
Dear Big Brain: Where does ones "personality" come from?
Answer: That's a very good question. The BIG BRAIN was actually born without a personality. Yes, hard to believe, but true. As a youth The BIG BRAIN wondered why all the other kids had personalities and he did not. It was a type of birth defect, his mother would often tell him. Anyway, The BIG BRAIN was determined to find a way to get one. So at age 12, The BIG BRAIN got a paper route and began to save his money. After 14 years, at the age of 26, The BIG BRAIN finally saved up enough money to buy a personality and that is the personality you see here today. Some would say he did not save enough, but that's another story. Anyway, to answer your question, some people are born with a personality and some buy them from a store. Ironic isn't it.

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Question from G. K. Oxford, Ms
Dear Mr Big Brain: What are clouds made of?
Answer: The BIG BRAIN is glad you asked. Clouds seem to be made of some type of puffy white and gray material that somehow sticks together. The BIG BRAIN believes that in some way glue must be involved. Since the clouds seem to change shape at frequent intervals The BIG BRAIN also believes that the glue isn't very good. Thanks for asking and have a nice day.

Big Brain Answers

Question from L. K. Kingsland, NJ
Dear Big Brain: Does The Big Brain ever get sick?
Answer: Good question. The BIG BRAIN doesn't really get sick however sometimes his brain does throb due to its enormous size. This generally makes The BIG BRAIN hungry which leads to a snack which generally solves the problem. Thanks and have a nice day

Big Brain Answers

Question from H. R. New York, NY
Dear Big Brain: Why is Pluto no longer a planet?
Answer: The BIG BRAIN is confused, Pluto is a dog and has never been a planet. Never write the The BIG BRAIN again.

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Question from K. H. Tuscon, AZ
Dear Big Brain: Why is ice cold?
Answer: Ice is cold because it's frozen. This is not rocket science people. The BIG BRAIN needs a cookie. Thanks and have a nice day.

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Question from K. G. Fresno, CA
Dear Big Brain: What is dirt made of and where does it come from?
Answer: I'm glad you asked. Dirt seems to be made of some brown material of unknown origin. As to where it it comes from, that's easy, its always been here. Thanks and have a nice day.

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Question from A. M. Fresno, CA
Dear Big Brain: Why are all snowflakes different?
Answer: That's a very good question. The BIG BRAIN believes that snowflakes are different because they come from different molds. The BIG BRAIN isn't quite sure who makes all these molds (actually he does have an inkling) but nevertheless someone does so now you have your answer. Thanks and have a nice day.

Big Brain Answers

Question from H. L. Los Angeles, CA
Dear Big Brain: What are volcanoes and why do the erupt?
Answer: The BIG BRAIN believes that volcanoes are kind of like noses for the earth. Sometimes they just have to blow, but in this instance there are no tissues big enough to take care of the problem and there just ends up being a big mess. Thanks and have a nice day.

Big Brain Answers

Question from W. G. Paris, France
Dear Big Brain: How do birds know how to fly?
Answer: That's a very good question. Birds know how to fly because they take flying lessons. Shortly after they're born they take these lessons at a local community college. In addition, they seem to have wings which greatly assist in the process. Thanks and have a nice day.

Big Brain Answers

Question from K. A. Livingston, MO
Dear Mr.Big Brain: How did you get to be so smart?
Answer: Thanks for asking. The BIG BRAIN noticed from an early age that he was different from the other kids. He seemed to know things that others did not. He seemed to stand out from the crowd. At first, many were jealous of The BIG BRAIN but gradually he seemed to notice they embraced his knowledge. Of course not all did, as some, thought he was an idiot. But The BIG BRAIN persevered and became the enigma he is today. As to how The BIG BRAIN got to be so smart, it's very simple. He was born that way.

Big Brain Answers

Question from W. J. Boston, MA
Dear Big Brain: Where does rain come from and why is it wet?
Answer: Well, from The BIG BRAIN's observational research, rain seems to come from the sky. The BIG BRAIN has observed this on many occasions. The reason it's wet is because it's made of water. Thanks for your support and have a nice day.

Big Brain Answers

Question from H. R. Ashville, NC
Dear Big Brain: Why is it cold in Winter?
Answer: The BIG BRAIN believes it is cold in winter due to a basic lack of heat. For some unknown reason, the sun does not seem to be as hot and this causes some kind of bizarre chain reaction which results in everyone getting cold. The BIG BRAIN needs a hot bath. Have a nice day.

Big Brain Answers

Question from T. G. Washington DC
Dear Big Brain: How are fish able to breath under water?
Answer: The BIG BRAIN believes that fish actually can't breath under water and that they are just very good at holding their breath. They also seem to be very good swimmers and are apparently waterproof. Will wonders never cease. Thanks for your support.

Big Brain Answers

Question from H. P. Tuscon, AZ
Dear Mr Big Brain: Why is money important and how can I get more of it?
Answer: That's actually a very good question. Money is apparently important because when you use it people give you things in return for it. The BIG BRAIN isn't quite sure why people would give you things for pieces of paper but apparently they do so you might as well go with it. As to how to get more of it...I guess...have something to give people that they want and they will give you more money . The BIG BRAIN is confused by this entire scenario and needs a sandwich. Thanks and have a nice day.

Big Brain Answers

Question from R. F. Kingman, AZ
Dear Mr Big Brain: Should I refinance my home mortgage? I put zero down with an adjustable rate on a house I couldn't really afford.
Answer: The BIG BRAIN thinks you should hold off on refinancing your mortgage at this time. The BIG BRAIN believes if you wait long enough, the government will probably buy your home for a premium and give you a monthly allowance just to stay put. Ignorance pays in some situations. Live long and prosper.

Big Brain Answers

Question from D. G. Sydney, AU
Dear Big Brain: How much is too much?
Answer: The BIG BRAIN believes too much is when you have a certain amount of something and you don't need any more but you continue to acquire more of this something until you have way too much of it. At that point, you have too much. Thanks for your support.