And now, what you’ve all been waiting for. THE BIG BRAIN will begin to answer your questions. Settle down, take a deep breath and begin to embrace the knowledge of THE BIG BRAIN. You may be a little overwhelmed at first. That’s natural. But rest assured, THE BIG BRAIN will always be here for you.
QUESTION FROM R. H. Albany NY
Dear BIG BRAIN: Is your head extra large due to the enormity of your brain? Answer: I’m glad you asked. THE BIG BRAIN’S head is of average size but his brain cells are abnormally large and tightly packed. This sometimes causes THE BIG BRAIN’S head to throb, however THE BIG BRAIN puts up with this for the good of humanity.
QUESTION FROM T. M. Dallas TX
Dear Big Brain: You are the smartest and most bestest man in the whole world. You are my idal. I want to be just like you. Would it be possible that one day we could meet? Answer: THE BIG BRAIN is stunned. Never write THE BIG BRAIN again.
QUESTION FROM D. S. Oakland TN
Dear Mr. Head: If a train leaves NYC for Chicago going 60 MPH and another train leaves Chicago going to NYC at 40 MPH and they are 700 miles apart how many miles from NY would they pass each other? Answer: THE BIG BRAIN chooses not to answer at this time. Do not think it is because THE BIG BRAIN does not know the answer. He does. It's just that he feels some questions are best left unanswered. THE BIG BRAIN’S head is throbbing again.
QUESTION FROM V. C. Oakland CA
Dear BIG BRAIN: How many miles is the earth from the sun. Answer: 72
QUESTION FROM N. M. PARIS FRANCE
Dear Head: Why does THE BIG BRAIN always answer questions in the 3rd person? Answer: THE BIG BRAIN does this as to not sound conceited. THE BIG BRAIN is always thinking of others.
QUESTION FROM J.P. MEMPHIS TN
Dear Mr. BIG BRAIN: Are your other body parts in proportion to the size of your Big Brain? Answer: Yes.
QUESTION FROM M.W. Portland OR
Dear Mr. FAT HEAD: My dad is way smarter than you. What do you think about that? Answer: Oh Yea. He is not.
QUESTION FROM S. J. ATLANTA GA
Dear Mr. Brain: I just love intelligent men. Are you married? Answer: THE BIG BRAIN is currently attached to Mrs. BIG BRAIN and can’t get unloosed.
QUESTION FROM D .R. KNOXVILLE TN
Dear Mr. BIG BRAIN: Why does E=MC Squared? Answer: It doesn’t, Einstein was wrong.
QUESTION FROM M. B. BOSTON MA
Dear HEAD: How many angels can fit on the head of a pin? Answer: 2
QUESTION FROM J. B. CLEVELAND OH
Dear Big Brain: Is it possible I could ever be as smart as you? Answer: No
QUESTION FROM R. E. COLLIERVILLE TN
Dear Mr. Brain: If I went to town how many would there be? Answer: THE BIG BRAIN wonders if you could be a little more vague.
QUESTION FROM Y. B. Los Angeles CA
Dear MR. BIG BRAIN: Who do you think is smarter, men or women? Answer: THE BIG BRAIN will get back to you with the answer at a later time. Do not think for one moment that THE BIG BRAIN is afraid to answer this question.
